


Memories Will Keep Us Warm

by ryoku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 11:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3445835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryoku/pseuds/ryoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The two of them huddle together in the small confines of an alley way, away from the prying eyes and fervent pleas of the plaza. Though they are hidden away, they can’t escape the wretched moans of the refugees that now flood Trost; they clamor for bread, reparations, and grief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories Will Keep Us Warm

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old kinkmeme fill.

The two of them huddle together in the small confines of an alley way, away from the prying eyes and fervent pleas of the plaza. Though they are hidden away, they can’t escape the wretched moans of the refugees that now flood Trost; they clamor for bread, reparations, and grief. Even though he’s young, Bertholdt knows that most of the people he can hear crying and starving in the streets, will not be alive for much longer. He's read enough books to know what kind of food Sina and Rose can provide, and it certainly isn't enough for the whole of wall Maria, for the refugees that will continue to pour in.

Just as he's been taught, humans are disgusting, selfish creatures, and they'll turn on one another without fail. The battle of the haves and the have-nots is a story as old as human history. It makes him wonder where exactly they fit into the equation. Will they starve to death like the others before they’ve completed their mission? Will they have to learn how to steal? Bertholdt thinks that they’ll be able to pass off as two unassuming children. They look young – are still young, so maybe they’ll be lucky.

Even with that knowledge firmly held in the forefront of his mind, the echoes of the plaza still reaches his ears. They nest in his brain, and refuse to leave. They sound like death; slow, agonizing, wasting death. It’s not only the cold that makes him shiver.

It’s a nice day, for winter. The sun shines but he's still cold, and the blanket the two of them are huddled under doesn't seem to help much. It isn’t unbearable - Bertholdt has certainly dealt with worse in his lifetime - but it is unpleasant.

The feel of slight tremors from beside him stops his thoughts almost instantly. Under the assumption that Reiner must be cold, Bertholdt hesitates for just a moment, then wraps an arm around the blonde's shoulder and pulls them closer together. To his surprise, Reiner certainly isn't cold, and more surprisingly, without any more prompting Reiner buries his head into the crook of Bertholdt's neck.

“You did a good job, Bertl.” Reiner stammers quietly, and his voice wavers more than it should; but what is more telling is the sensation of liquid dripping onto Bertholdt's exposed neck, and the unmistakable tremors that wrack the blonde’s body periodically.

Bertholdt hesitates for a moment, not really sure what he should do, before he tentatively brings his other arm around to rest on Reiner's back. He doesn't know what else to do; Reiner is always the outgoing one, always with it and composed, even when he really isn’t. This is a reversal in their typical dynamic, and Bertholdt doesn't really know how he's supposed to handle it.

What he does know is that Reiner deals with things more honestly than he does, and that if even Bertholdt is having difficulties with their situation, it must be untenable for Reiner. Without even realizing it, his loose hold on Reiner tightens, and Bertholdt leans into Reiner just a bit.

He struggles for the right thing to say, and wonders if staying silent is okay. For him, it would be. Just having Reiner around is comfort enough for Bertholdt, but he has no illusions that he has the same effect on his best friend. He has to think of something, but all Bertholdt can think of are memories, things they've shared. Those are certainly more stable than the turbulent mess their future will probably be. Once he’s decided that a memory will have to do, he catalogues through them, searching for the right one. He stumbles on it without even realizing, and a hesitant smile crosses his face.

“Reiner, do you remember that time we ran away?” He gets a small snort and a nod in response, and Bertholdt continues, closing his eyes and imagining the memory as it plays out in his head.

“We were really young; I don't remember how long ago it was. But, you got really mad at your father. He did something, but I can't remember what it was now, and you decided to run away. It was really late when you decided that though. Now that I think about it, you must have been lying in bed thinking about it and getting angry, like you used to do, before you blew your top and decided you had to run away. So you snuck out of the house, and came to mine.

“I was sound asleep when you knocked at my window, but I've always been a light sleeper, so I woke up pretty easily. You really, really scared me! I couldn't see you in the window, so I thought you were a monster or something, so I hid under the bed. But you kept knocking and calling my name, and I recognized your voice, so I came out. You should have just told me you wanted to leave, because I would have gone with you. But you were afraid I wouldn't, so you lied and said there was something important you wanted to show me.”

Reiner nuzzles farther into his neck, and mumbles softly “Didn't want to go alone.”

Bertholdt opens his eyes to look down at Reiner, and waits for a few moments, just in case Reiner has something else to say, but when he said nothing more, Bertholdt continues.

“I didn't want to go, because it was dark out. I was really afraid of the dark-”

“You're still afraid of the dark. And spiders, and closed in spaces, and mold.” Reiner grumbles, but otherwise quiets down once again.

Bertholdt finds himself running small circles up and down Reiner’s back. He hopes that it’s comforting in some way, but he gets no indication that it is, and continues on. “As I was saying, I didn't want to go out in the dark, but I didn't want to disappoint you either, so I snuck out of my room to go with you. You should have told me we were running away. I would have gotten dressed, and took extra underwear, and maybe some snacks; definitely a blanket. Instead you had me going off into the forest in my sleep clothes.

“We walked forever. I remember thinking that it must have been hours, and I was really scared, but you let me hold your hand, and that made it better. We didn't get too far, just to the river before you decided we'd camp for the night. It was only then you told me we were actually running away. You do that sometimes; say weird things out of nowhere.”

Reiner seems to say something in protest that sounds sort of like a huff trying to be a word, but whatever it is Bertholdt can't make it out. The sound comes out as a mumbled, grumbled, breathy sort of noise, and with Reiner’s face nestled into his neck, the sound really doesn't make it too far. Bertholdt wonders what it was for a few seconds, before he continues.

“You do! You really, really do. It’s not only me that notices. But back to the story; I was really scared of the bears and the wolves, but you said that as long as we built a fire, they wouldn't bother us. But it had rained the night before, and all of the wood we could find in the dark was to damp to use, so we had to go without one. And it was fall too, so it was cold out. You'd brought a jacket, but I was in my sleep clothes. I was so cold. But you snuggled up to me and we shared your jacket, so it wasn’t so bad. But it was still dark, and I couldn't stand that. So you rolled over onto your back, and we looked up at the night sky, and made pictures and stories out of the stars until we both fell asleep.”

Another huff escapes Reiner’s mouth, and Bertholdt can feel the tickle of it as the air skirts around the hairs on his neck “You fell asleep first.” Reiner states plainly, but it sounds less dejected than his previous statements.

“You snore really loud, so I was up most of the night any way.”

“You wheeze in your sleep,” Reiner barks back a little defensively, before his tone steadies “and mumble. You talk more when you're asleep than when you're awake.”

Reiner shifts in his hold, and Bertholdt loosens to accommodate him, and offers a sheepish half smile in response to the comment, but Reiner doesn’t turn to look at him. He just nestles his head back into the crook of Bertholdt’s neck, so Bertholdt tightens his embrace, and continues.

“When we woke up in the morning, we fished and swam in the river, and we even managed to find some dry fire wood to cook our breakfast, and then we moved farther into the forest. We ate berries, and hunted rabbits, and ate whatever we could find that was still good. We spent three whole weeks out there! I don’t really know how we did it, but we did a lot better than I thought we would. We wouldn’t have gone back at all if I hadn’t gotten sick. Neither of us knew what to do then. We were too far into the forest to make it back easily, but we tried our best. You set our pace really fast, and I tried my best to keep up, but I couldn't.

“We walked for two days straight, with very few breaks, but I couldn’t do it, we had to stop so that I could rest. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep the minute I sat down. When I woke up, you were gone. I was sure you'd left me behind, and I started crying, cause I was all alone, and it was almost night out, and I was tired and sick. I didn't know what to do. But you came back, and you brought my father with you. He carried me back home, and with medicine I was better in a few days. We got the beating of our lives! Or, at least I did. Apparently, the whole village had been looking for us, we'd made everyone worry.

“But they'd stopped looking for us after the first week. They didn't think two kids our age could survive on our own, and we proved them wrong. You proved them wrong.” Bertholdt's hand moves almost unconsciously to rest protectively over Reiner's exposed neck.

“We can do this too. We will do this, and we'll go home. You'll see.” Bertholdt burrows his nose into Reiner's hair, maybe more for his own sake than Reiner's.

“Even if I get scared, we'll be together, so it'll be okay. And I won't hold you back this time. No matter what, I'll keep up. So don't worry. We'll break their walls, and we'll go home. We promised each other, so there’s only one path for us to follow.”


End file.
